10 Truths on a Tuesday

1) Salt and pepper makes me weak in the knees. I’m not talking about the seasoning. A little silver in the stubble goes a long way, too.

2) I have so much respect for teachers. It takes a special kind of patience that I have to work hard at. I could teach advanced courses all day long, but give me a group of slower learners and someone may end up crying and I don't cry.

3) I instantly judge someone who says “I’m not a dog person”. Same goes for people on the Newt Gingrich wagon.

4) Dry clean only really means “never getting washed”.

5) I see my ‘warning’ gas light as a challenge.

6) Scratch tickets should be a write off. I do it for the public schools.

7) I’ve been doing yoga for 4 months now and still can’t do the ‘crow pose’ or, more importantly, contort my body into a ‘pretzel’. We all have dreams.

8) Box jumps were not meant for me to do at home. I give up without an audience.

9) Break a mirror and its 7 years bad luck. How much bad luck is it to hit a 3 legged black cat? I’ll have to let you know.

10) Jeans never get dirty. Finally, here’s proof: http://www.news.com.au/technology/experiment-finds-dirty-jeans-are-actually-pretty-clean/story-e6frfro0-1225997272022

Today I'm Thankful

I’ve been feeling especially thankful over the last week. In fact I just put gas in my car, which should have angered me since the price has blown up like it’s on roids over the last week. But, I don’t have to drive. Plenty of people wish they were able to pay for gas to put in a reliable (most of the time) car. 

I was honestly dreading going back to work last week – so hard to go back after 4 days off, thank you govt holidays. I vividly recall my alarm clock going off on that first day back. Unless you’re a real housewife of [insert city], have won the lottery, or are a stay at home son/daughter – you know how terrible the alarm clock is. It only goes off when you’re in the best state of sleep ever/dreaming vividly that your body pillow is in fact Ryan Goslings body. 

Unfortunately for Americans most of our time is spent at work. All of that time there makes me realize how lucky I am to even have a job in this economy; much less one I love. I enjoy the people I work with, I love my patient population and for the most part I think they really like me. They write me thank you letters, send me emails, and make me cool, albeit sometimes awkward, things. Even if they do address letters to “Dr. Jesse Shenna”, I’m cool with it. 

While it’s really awesome to love your job, there are a lot of other things that I’m more thankful for. The everyday things - that I still take for granted most of the time. Guilty. 

Family. There’s a crazy one in every bunch. In my case the crazy ones outnumber the rest of us. I have a mom who would honestly do anything for me and anyone else for that matter. She’s the sweetest woman in the world and I want to be just like her when I grow up. My dad thinks I’m the smartest and prettiest girl in the world and I’ll take it. If I asked him to, my brother would kill someone for me. He’s a special kind of crazy, but I’m lucky to say that since I’ve moved 5+ hours from home, we’ve really gotten close. My extended family is large and also fabulous. While there are admittedly those I’m not all that close to I have amazing grandparents on both sides and a special few aunts, uncles and cousins who I’d give up late night snacking for. 

Friends. How many people can say they’re just as close to their elem/middle/high school friends now as they were then? I’m one of the lucky ones. I’d drop everything if they needed me and I know they’d so the same. KDH, ACT, PSW, AWR. Love. 

Roland. The most beautiful and sweetest natured dog you’ve ever laid eyes on. He makes big ears look good. He’s the best company. His tail thumping when I walk in the door is one of my favorite sounds (& his whining is my least favorite sound).

Living life. I spent almost my whole life living within 2 hours of a small town in Virginia - a wonderful town at that. Moving 3 states down is, to date, the most life changing experience I’ve had. At first it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I questioned the hell out of myself, but it’s been one of my best experiences. Over the last year I’ve been very lucky - traveled frequently, met and gotten to know great people and am still meeting new people every day; I have done things I never thought I would do. For the first time in a long time I’m not in school, I have a paycheck, and don’t have anything tying me down. I’m starting a whole new chapter in my life and I’m in control of what gets written. Every day is a new opportunity.

New friends. Don’t underestimate the difficulty – at first especially – of meeting new people when you’re no longer forced into social situations (i.e. school) and are new in town. I’ve been very active, throwing myself into all kinds of situations to meet people, and am just now really reaping the benefits after 6 months. Even though it’s not easy and takes some time, the positive thing is, in the end I have even more friends. I was lucky to have an acquaintance move to GA when I did. Expanding our little social circle beyond the 2 of us took a little time, but having 1 great friend around has made all the difference. She’s turned into a best friend and is one of those that’ll always be hearing my stories - & I can’t tell a short story. Sorry Sarah! 

Southern Climate. The real benefit of moving south is that I haven’t had to scrape my windows yet. 

Being capable of working out. What a meat-head thing to say. Actually I just love being active/running/etc. Give me a pretty day and enough daylight and odds are I’ll spend some of it running. I will always hate the first mile, but am thankful to be able to be doing it in the first place. I have amazing places to run all around where I live and it makes it that much better. At one trail in particular there’s often a mother/daughter (I’m guessing) and the mother cannot walk unsupported, so her daughter holds her back and pushes her along as they walk the trail. Gets me every single time. Nicholas Sparks could write a story about it.

Living by myself. It’s stupid how expensive it is and renting = throwing away money. Financially it would be smart to have a roommate. However, I can afford it and enjoy walking around in my underwear and no one leaving their dirty dishes in the sink.

Peep toe wedges. They have the ability of even making my cankles look good. Speaking of Cankles I recently discovered, from my aunt - thank you Sharon, that I have my dear Italian grandmother to thank for these glorious cankles. Apparently it’s an Italian woman thing. Thanks Norma!

Good music. Avett Brothers – they don’t have a bad song; take your pick. If you like them, they have a show coming up in Charleston in February. They’re so good live it’s insane and Charleston is the best city in the south east. Beautiful people everywhere. Do it. 

This is why you're single: A guy’s guide to not getting it

Let me start by saying that taking dating advice from me is a lot like getting a diet plan from an obese person. While they may have a lot of experience with food (as I have with dates), whatever they’re doing is not working for them (I am single – and young, educated and good lookin in case you know anyone). 

 That said, I’ve been on a fair share of dates in the last few months. To be fair only a couple bad ones, where I had a lot of “this guy wonders why he’s single?” moments. I’m going to share those with you so you don’t make the same mistakes.  

1.       “lol”. Just don’t. If you’re texting and you think you’ve said something really witty do not ruin it by following it with “lol”. If it truly was witty, you don’t need to inform her. A simple "ha" will suffice.

2.       Along the same lines of #1, use the wink/smiley face sparingly. You’re not a 12 yr old girl.

3.       If a girl declines datish things – i.e. movie/dinner, but suggests/agrees to friendly activities – i.e. “I can’t watch a movie, but I’ll definitely play tennis! I’ll invite 2 others and we can do doubles!” - she’s just not that into you. Sorry buddy. This is not the end of the world; she is still willing to hang out. Accept it. Do not keep asking her on dates, making her feel like an ass by finding new ways to turn you down every time. 

4.       Don’t say bad things about your mom. I don’t care how funny you think it is- I assure you it’s not. You can tell a lot about a guy by how he treats/talks about his mom. Make a girl feel sorry for yours and you’re not getting any. Asshat.

5.       Do you have a maltipoo or some other designer ankle bitter that you did not happen to find in, and rescue from, the wild? Oh, and you dress her up? Congrats, but keep it to yourself until she agrees to a second (or third) date.

6.       Don’t cross your legs. She’ll wonder why that’s comfortable for you. Also on the list of don’t: graphic t’s, excessive hair gel, ‘soul patches’ (see wikipedia)/mustaches. You’re welcome. 

7.       Pretend to like her dog (or children). I don’t care if you hate dogs and he’s smelling your crotch and stepping on your good shoes. I also don’t care how many great dates you’ve had with one another before said dog meeting, or how successful and good looking you are – if she has a dog, you must like dogs.

8.       Kiss her by the 3^rd date or you will be friended. If she finds you particularly good looking or witty she may even do the work for you, but man-up and don’t rely on that. 

Things that will work to your advantage:

1.       Have her favorite beverage in your fridge. This is even better if she knows you don’t like that particular beverage; it’s there for her benefit.

2.       Make her laugh. This may be the most important thing. 

3.       Be independent. I don’t need to spell that one out for you.

4.       Send a text after hanging out the first time to let her know you enjoyed yourself. Don’t wait 3 days for this; you’re not asking her out again, but simply letting her know you’re interested/had a good time.

5.       Stubble. I like to know you’re capable of growing a beard. Disclaimer: This is just my personal preference, so really not helpful for anyone reading this. 

That’s all for now. 

Music you should listen to: bon iver – skinny love; warren haynes – soulshine; oasis – wonderwall.

27 dresses

As dear old dad told me, in reference to turning 25 and not being married, “you’re like a Christmas cookie, no one wants you after the 25^th”. Aww, thanks dad. 

My parents are convinced I’ll be an old spinster, selfishly not birthing them any grandchildren. What a shame it would be if these child bearing hips didn’t get put to use. “Aww Sheena, you really will be the only one (of your friends not married) left.” I love a good pity party thrown on my behalf. 

My best friend is getting married. She called me tonight with the official date. Another one bites the dust. Love ya, Kimmy! 

A friend getting married doesn’t make me feel old, but the things that follow do. Having babies on purpose? What? I secretly panic at the thought of it. Haven’t we been spending all of our 20s trying not to get pregnant? I need more time. Wasn’t the farewell dance just yesterday? 

One of my friends stopped taking the pill the day she got married. Claiming it gave her headaches. Really? I don’t have that problem; why don’t you switch brands I helpfully suggested. No-go. Instead they are planning around the calendar and using goat skin condoms (just sounds gross, sorry for even writing it) for BC. Next thing I hear is they’ve skipped out on the goat skin condoms, electing for calendar method only, because the goat condoms are pricey. The condoms are too expensive? PSA: If you can’t afford the condoms, you can’t afford a positive pregnancy test. 

Anyway, I digress. Back to the issue at hand: marriage and everyone doing it like it’s going out of style. Why the rush? I hate hearing a 20something female talk about not being married/being single like it’s the end of the world. Enjoy it. You have no one expecting you to be home tonight. You don’t have to ask for forgiveness later. Go crazy. Send the eye candy on the other side of the bar a drink. Shave your legs before you go out just in case. 

Lastly, Not that getting married is comparable to being axe-murdered, but when I watch a horror film where multiple people are being chased I always think to myself ‘dear lord, don’t let me be the last to go if I’m ever in that situation.”  I don’t know if that makes sense, but that thought process reminds me of how I feel about all of my friends getting married. I don’t want to get married right now (or murdered) but if everyone had to get married (or murdered), I simply don’t want to be the last (wo)man standing. 

“I hope our kids get along!” they say. Please, your kids’ll be babysitting mine. 

       What I'm listening to: Joshua Radin, Simple Times. All of his stuff is good. First heard him on the movie “The Last Kiss” – good soundtrack. I listened to ‘Paperweight’ by him and Schuyler Fisk on repeat after that movie.

Bochinche? I can't even pronounce it.

First things first: a disclaimer. I am the opposite of computer savvy. I apologize in advance for how this blog turns out. For example I just posted a page on here, but can't find it. Oh well. Maybe you see it, maybe you dont, and maybe it's on here 4 times now. I'm also the opposite of creative so I hit up urbandictonary.com when BlogSpot made me title my blog. I was being ballsy and told myself I'd name my blog whatever came up when I clicked on 'random'. These were my results, in this order: wet blanket, sket, bamf, and bochinche.  1)      'Wet Blanket'. Unacceptable. A) no one wants to read something called 'wet blanket' and B) I’ll admit to being the victim of/guilty of dating one or two in the past, but that's the extent of my association with wet blankets. 2)      ‘Sket’: Short for Sketel. Caribbean term for Super Ho…. a motha fukin biatch even sluttier than a ho. Nope. I’m never a wet blanket and I am rarely a sket. Next up…. 3)      ‘BAMF’ – I wish. Next… 4)      ‘Bochinche’ Spanish noun for gossip – fine, I’ll take it.        What I'm listening to: Winding Road by Bonnie Somerville. Do your ears a favor and check it out.