13 Things on a Thursday

I have a neurotic fear that if I don’t eat enough vegetables my immune system will self destruct, I’ll get cancer, or Kristen Stewart will land more acting jobs.

I find random cursing unattractive and yet find myself sounding like a sailor as of the last ~year. Bad mouths rubbing off on me. Working on that one.

Children are the best therapy.

Everyone knows that if a guy can play an instrument it takes him, while doing so, to a whole different level of attractiveness…. but men playing with/holding children (who aren’t their own) who clearly adore them? Take me home with you.

When something happens that makes me want to scream or jump and shout and I’m in a position that I can’t show emotion ….there’s a marching band happening inside my head.

I’m having my wisdom teeth removed. I could have had them removed  when I was younger and still on my parents insurance. Instead, after having 4 permanent teeth pulled to make room for them, enduring the pain of them actually coming in, no longer being a child and on my parents insurance, and living 6 hours from my mother who would otherwise cater to me, I’m now electing to have them removed. Hindsight’s 20/20.

Teeth are the second thing I notice about people. I like flossing and still rock my retainer.

Can anyone tell me when the Arrested Development movie is happening? I have big plans to review the seasons before to ensure being disappointed when the film doesn’t meet my expectations

Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite - it's like my heart is getting hard. 

            ……seriously, this film is going to suck in comparison

I excel at putting my foot in my mouth. Example: I comment on a swim suit top that I think is unflattering, my friend takes her cover up off and is wearing that exact top … Another example: audiology student asking for a female’s view point; Student: “ok, you’ve been in a long term relationship, what if he’d given you a promise ring….” Me, interrupting: “I’d vomit” Student: “well what if you forced it on him…” Me: “wait is this you….” Frustrated Student, hands flailing: “yes.. gosh.. darn it,  let me explain!”

My inner left calf has been about to explode for the last ~2 weeks. It doesn’t hurt when I’m actually running, but I’m usually dragging my left leg behind me an hour later. I stretch it and stretch it exactly like the google image for “inner calf stretch” and still…nothing. Thanks in advance to anyone who can advise me on this.

I’m going to be living out of a suitcase in July. Destinations include Roanoke, Portland and Charleston.  Suggestions on what I should not miss out on in Portland are encouraged. So much good music comes out of that city that I can’t imagine not being able to find a small venue with some tunes, but I don’t know where to start and Google is failing me.

“Would you believe I’m the 34^th grandchild of King Edward the 1st Longshanks?” ß I love it when patient interactions start this way. Can’t make this stuff up.

I don’t like it when gay people are semi out of the closet. Case in point: guy acquaintance and his ‘friend’ live together in a 1 bedroom. They refer to each other as friends. They don’t touch or get too close when others are around. They go as far as to have 2 beds in their bedroom. They know I couldn’t care less about someone’s sexuality [unless it’s a 26-32 year old active/outdoorsy man over 6’ tall without an ex wife or children who is simultaneously fun to be around and look at….step off] – so I just want to say “You have collages of yourselves on vacation! You have a cat! You’re not fooling me!” Just embrace each other. If it bothered me or someone else, then we’re not worth hiding it for.

Listening to: Decemberists